Exposing the Foggy Bottom from the Third Rail  

Archives

About Us

Letter from Kennebunkport

An Un-Natural Campaign

In the News

Two Americas One Ticket

Dear Poppi:

Just when I think the campaign season can’t get any worse, Dick Cheney shows up here at Camp Kennebunkport and is telling everyone here — including myself — to commit an un-natural sex act. I want you to know that I told him I would soon propose a constitutional amendment banning such acts especially among members of the Legislative and Executive Branch. After what my Supreme Court did to me this Spring on “Texas Justice” in Guantanomo, I really don’t care WHAT they do to themselves.

Speaking of un-natural sex acts, Bill Frist did his best to remind the Bible thumpers that even in a summer where temperatures are up around “Fahrenheit 9/11,” I am still “cool.” Still, I think some of our own GOP senators are a bit anal when it comes to homosexuality. They can’t seem to figure out that once homosexuals can marry, the last barrier has been removed from them gaining respectability in Washington, like that young man who was married to a super-model and was running as a Republican for US Senator from Illinois, who I had hoped would help me win that state.

Speaking of pretty people, that Kerry guy sure picked a “pretty” boy to run for vice president. He is of course not as “pretty” as Laura — or even my twins — but he sure is prettier than the un-natural sex act I have on the ticket. There are even people running around the White House with their hair on fire saying I should dump Cheney from the ticket for Giuliani. Hell, I could dump Laura easier than I could dump Dickie Boy. Ever since that time in Florida when I was reading “My Pet Goat,” Dickie made it clear to me that I should always be seen reading in front of children, and that he and his team would take of everything else.

If I ever did dump Dickie-Boy, it would probably be for my friend, Kenny-Boy. He is sure a lot prettier than that John-fella that Kerry picked. More importantly, he can buy me under the table — and he has. Dickie–boy seems kind of moody of late, and Kenny-Boy said Dickie had sent some guys in suits to see Kenny recently with some reading material. I wonder if it was a copy of My Pet Goat?

If only that Martha Stewart lady had been reading My Pet Goat to children, like women are supposed to… Imagine worrying her pretty little head about “insider trading,” when she could have come to Camp Kennebunkport and redecorated the whole place for Laura. I hope she learned her lesson.

Well, I’ve got to go get some sleep now. I guess it’s time for my annual August vacation. I’m going to start it a bit early, sleep through the boring Democratic Convention in Boston. At least Kerry gets to have his Convention in his home town. For some reason, my friend Osama wants me to be in New York in early September this year. I wish the convention was in Houston again, like the one you had in 1992. I was still a bit groggy back then…I can’t remember what happened after that convention… did you win that campaign?

Your boy,
Georgie

Home | Archives | Links | Campaign 2004 | Taking Liberties | About Us

Liftingthefog.com is Copyright ©2004 by Barbara Sehr Productions