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| Book Reveals Bush Spelling Challenge Putting a Different Spell on History |
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Mrs. Edna Snofelapagus, George W. Bush’s third grade English teacher at Midland Elementary School did what Paul O’Neil, Richard Clarke, and Bob Woodward could not do. After years of observing a pupil she never figured could understand making change at the local Woolworth Five & Dime, she watched in horror as he progressed into challenges beyond reading, ‘riting and patriotic rhythms. “I knew George was lost in all those high-level meetings, “ Mrs. Snofelapagus wrote in her now best-selling book,” Most of all, I knew that one day he would make a spelling error that would be tragic for the entire world.” Snofelapagus wrote in her book Mis-Underestimate Me — Please that little George had always been such a sensitive speller that he had his parents lead a protest march before the Texas School Book Commission to ban dictionaries from Texas schools. “These dictionaries contain some pretty nasty words,” George would tell his parents, “like welfare, homeless, and peace.” Growing up in Texas, Mr. Bush had enough trouble spelling American words and names, like “nuke-ular ,” “libbral,” and “Konstitushion,” according to Mrs. Snofelapagus. “He said it was unfair that taxpayers were actually paying for words like that and letting their children read them, “she noted. He also had trouble spelling names like “Seeger, Garfunkel, and Kennedy,” she added. It was only a matter of time, before that difficulty manifested itself in the Bush White House. Apparently, aides to Bush who were told that “Osama” was misspelled were in fear of their jobs. None were able to point out to their boss that “Osama” and “Hussein were two different people. “Oh, yes, Mr. President, “ they would say. “I wish I had such a command of the English language as you do… Please forgive the errors of my ways.” There were of course some in the White House out of sight of the grammatically incorrect leader who would point out that the man they called “Osama” was still making videotapes long after the misspelled Osama had been found in a spider hole. Still, few in the West Wing would dare speak the name that their leader had forgot. “George was always like that,” Mrs. Snofelapagus revealed. “Even when he was little Bush would constantly point out that Americans don’t have to ask permission how to spell words from some pointy-headed dictionary-maker. All America needed, he said, was tax cuts for his mommy and daddy.”
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The latest in a series
of books about the Bush administration says George W. Bush was such a
poor speller that he thought “Osama” should be spelled “H-U-S-S-E-I-N.”
With every breath, the book charges, the commander-in-chief would correct
embarrassed cabinet secretaries and aides by correcting their spelling
of the man responsible for the September 11, 2001 attacks on the US.