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| Democrats Gathered in Boston Terrorist "Combatants"
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Bush administration officials declared complete success early Monday morning in “Operation Enema.” The surprise attack on the Democratic Convention in Boston that resulted in the arrest of thousands of “enemy combatants” will make America safer, according to Attorney General John Ashcroft.
Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge says his operatives heard “increasing chatter” that terrorists from cells scattered throughout the US were converging on Boston’s Fleet Center — sacred home of Boston's beloved Celtics — for a meeting deemed potentially fatal to the Bush administration. “These terrorists were making plans to attack the White House,” Ridge said. “ these terrorists truly hate America and are jealous of the freedoms prescribed in the Patriot Act. “ Among those caught in the raid were former US President Bill Clinton and
Senator Hillary Clinton of New York. “You can only imagine what
these two were doing in the same hotel room, “an agent suggested. Among “known” enemy combatants found testing the acoustics at Fleet Center was former Vermont Governor Howard Dean, freed only recently from a previous enemy combatant sentence because of a recent US Supreme Court ruling. In the raids, Boston Police assisted FBI and Homeland Security agents going from hotel to hotel collaring suspected “Democrats.” Some of these terrorists were even brave enough to shout open hostility to the Bush administration, one police officer noted. “When we confronted them lurking near the Fleet Center, some even suggested that the President of the United States perform a sex act that only the Vice President himself could suggest!” Agents said most of the “Democrats” were arrested and shipped off to Guantanomo Bay without a struggle. Still, others, FBI agents noted were more stubborn and had to be mortally wounded. “We were almost overwhelmed by this group of terrorists with pierced noses, orange hair and wearing “Free Linda Ronstadt “ tee shirts,” said an agent, holding his “I’m the NRA” cap. Agents said they were disappointed that once again they were unable to
pick up the presumed leader of the terrorist cell. “John Kerry appears
to be hiding in a large outdoor arena somewhere near Ohio,” the
raid’s senior official noted. “Chances are we will find him
in some wormhole approaching Boston and put him on trial, just like Saddam.” Many of the so-called “Democrats” actually claim to be “non-partisan” members of the press invited to Beantown for the meeting. Still, few of the so-called “press” had credentials from the official Fox News media list, an agent noted Officials in the Bush administration said while Boston’s Fleet Center is named for a local financial institution, “Operation Enema” was a more appropriate use of the brand name for the “potty-mouths” picked up in the raid. Homeland Security officials said it will probably take a long time to establish military tribunals that will try each of the more than 10,000 “Democrats and hangers-on” arrested in the Boston raid.. Officials say it will take “years” to separate the guilty from the truly evil. That process is unlikely to be completed before the Bush administration pushes through its agenda to amend the US Constitution and make George W. Bush Emperor for Life, the official said.
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