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| Humility is an Acquired Taste Bush Buys Humility from Clarke |
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“Your government failed you. Those entrusted with protecting you failed you, And I failed you.”
Yet, he would go before America now, a kinder, gentler chief executive, cognizant of his limitations, mindful that humility scores higher than making jokes about tracking down weapons of mass destruction. By recognizing his personal failures, Bush had a chance to advance himself as a sort of Everyman — the sort that Bush had been told was at the end of every trickle-down food chain. He had Richard Clarke to thank for his sudden episode of humility. Clarke had penned the words — but Dubya had brought them to life. Clarke ever-so humbly suggested that his words fit Bush like the would-be epaulets on White House guards fit Richard Nixon. “Failure is your color, “ Clarke had suggested to Bush. After some pause, Bush considered the words. He had his administrative staff search the Internet for evidence of his accomplishments. He consulted with Laura, a well-educated librarian, as well as a first-rate First Lady, for written evidence that his 537-vote clear and present mandate in Florida for neo-compassionate neo-conservatism was no fluke. “It certainly must have been more than a mandate to free the world of Saddam Hussein,” he motioned to himself. The evidence mounted, the statistics were drawn and quartered, Saddam had crawled out of his hole, marriage had been protected, evil criminals like Martha Stewart were put behind bars, and America was once again safe for tax unburdened entrepreneurs like “Kenny Boy.” Everyone who deserved a job had one, Dubya believed. More importantly, those who deserved jobs were being supported by the taxes of those who did not. Up until now, Bush believed his record of accomplishment did not proclaim failure as Clarke had suggested. He could proclaim his greatness from the streets of Youngstown, Ohio — where thousands of unemployed workers with nothing else to do could cheer him. He could once again brave the streets of Baghdad, with only the protection of a few hundred tanks, the First Armored Division and a couple of thousand Halliburton security people. He would not apologize for his record, anymore than he would apologize for not getting the permission of the UN Security Council for his invasion of Iraq. He would grant Barbara Bush two terms as “first mother” to make up for having only one term as First Lady. “I restored dignity and honor to the White House,” he would shout from the hilltops of Crawford, Texas. “Unlike my predecessor, I never had sex with that woman — or any other person, place or thing.” It was only after Laura Bush returned from her research to clue him on “it’s the economy stupid,” that Bush the younger began to see the light of Diogenes.. His search for an honest press release had come full circle. He had misunder-estimated Richard Clarke. Failure could be a success story, in all humility. The world had reacted well to Clarke’s admission of failure, perhaps Dubya could stand proud on his record of dysfunctions. It was time at last to make apologies and an offer to set off on a different direction. It was time for a daring offer to Clarke. “If I can use your words in my next speech,” the president declared. “I will actually read your book.”
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