Exposing the Foggy Bottom from the Third Rail  

Archives

About Us

Letter from Camp Kennebunkport

Not Every Child Behind Bush

In the News

Kerry Bounce?

Dear Poppi:

I think I finally discovered a child I want to leave behind... This uppity 10-year-old girl had the balls to call me a moron, as my limousine was leaving the driveway of one of my millionaire friends in Medina, Washington, last week.

I was just telling Larry King last week that I am beloved all over this country for my compassion, brilliance and wit. Every person that stands alongside the path of my limousine is there smiling and waving as if they had been instructed to do so. Whenever I go to a fundraiser, or address a group of my loyalists, I never hear a discouraging word, and I often get the thanks for a job well done.

Just how did that kid think she could belittle me?

I think we’re going to strip the state of Washington of all of its education funds. Teach ‘em a lesson. Teach her daddy a lesson too, calls himself a good Republican just because he’s a pioneer fundraiser and he raved about Laura’s fruitcakes last Christmas. He obviously sends his kids to the wrong schools… schools that don’t teach any respect.

Fortunately a Secret Service agent was able to grab the kid, rustle her to the ground and put her on a flight to Guantanomo where there are other kids who think like her.

I told Karl to increase his crowd control vigilance. From now on we’re going to need to get signed loyalty oaths even from infants in the crowd before they can join my audience. If good Republican parents can’t control their kids, where is this country going? First they disrespect their emperor — er, president — next, they start doing drugs and killing rich people. Maybe these kids need to spend some time thinking about discipline. I’ll check with Rummy and maybe he can cut that draft age down to about six or seven, when we expand our presence in Iraq, Iran and France after the inauguration.

I’m getting all pumped up for the convention coming up at Ground Zero in a couple of weeks, thanks especially to Gov. Schwarzenegger who will protect us from any girlie-men that sneak in from New Jersey. We’re going to show America that the GOP is just like America, where fighter jets, millions of policemen, barbed wire and security cameras protect us from terrorists, Democrats and chewing gum on the streets. We’re going to show off our compassionate side, including the world premiere of a new musical comedy based on the events at Abu Ghraib prison.

I still remember how you wowed them with your first acceptance speech back in 1988, Poppi. “Read my lips, no new taxes, “will go down in history as fighting words. I’m hoping I can develop something similar in my speech in September. How does, “Read my lips, these are the lips of God!” sound?

Good thing they’re not allowing any 10-year-old kids on the convention floor.

Your over-achieving son,
Georgie

Home | Archives | Links | Campaign 2004 | Taking Liberties | About Us

Liftingthefog.com is Copyright ©2004 by Barbara Sehr Productions